?

Log in

About this Journal
Current Month
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031
Jun. 22nd, 2016 @ 07:54 pm Hanging out on Hertel
It's the new Elmwood so judgement maps says. I'm not really impressed. It's mostly the same city BS except a few foreign people scattered about who are more with it than the local Americans. Yeah houses are hot here blah blah blah, but honestly it's mediocre. There are these 3 older middle aged women talking about their dating game, tinder & other assorted BS. Hardly sex & the city as I'm like "They're demanding high status men?" Yeah that sorosis on your arm is sexy.

I'm at the reference is DC/NoVA ect & this is just the same lame wage blue collar peeps trying to be trendy by "going out" honestly Cleveland had done more for itself recently with LeBron winning the NBA title than the real estate Billion that got pumped into this city.

So I wait for my panini, watch the soccer fans get pumped & listed to these women cackle & squeak!





About this Entry
Spiritual Sarasota
Jun. 3rd, 2016 @ 06:39 pm Back again at "Just Hanging out"
So in at the cool Buffalo micro distillery. This time post work. It's a after 5 crowd. Plus it's a tap takeover with my local favorite nano brewery on the taps.

I'm kind of out of place with the couple of tables of sex in the city types cocktailing it up. I'm not sure what to think I'm kind of just in a zen zone lot thinking about anything. I'm not going to be living along for the next number of months & im not sure what to think about it. I'm just happy I'll be not lonely but at he same time I'm not sure how I'll handle that.

Anyway I just sit, think about my disconnect from modern dating & social norms. How things may not not be different if I lived elsewhere & how I wasn't able to get tragically hip tickets.

But yeah I'm enjoying a beverage in some daylight & heat.




About this Entry
Spiritual Sarasota
Jun. 2nd, 2016 @ 05:00 pm Hanging out again in Canada
Well Niagara Falls Ont the somewhat burnt out town that it is. Yes in the "hood" houses go for $200k but it appears that most people if they're working are in the hotel & service industry. The main drag Queen St has as many vacancies as a burnt out rust belt town of the 90's but they're trying to streetscape it to "bring it back."

I'm in this hipsterish bar at the moment where they don't sell macro beer. No Blue or Canadian here. Just a few poor cool kids & tourists killing time on their layovers from the bus or train station a block away.

It's funny how I did get a few people pass me by on the Happn app. I guess Canadians are better versed in Texhnology? But it's cool to kick back on my day off. I got my teeth cleaned from my dentist that I've had forever over here. Given my dad had great benefits from his Canadian job & we couldn't use the health care I got braces & everything else i could get when I was a kid. He's pretty competent as most Canadians are much more educated & proficient at their jobs her most Yanks. This is from my experience & especially given I went to university with a bunch of Canucks.

But this area is so far behind Toronto & honestly it's fallen behind Buffalo in the development game. Although honestly I'll take this area over the USA when it comes to specific things. No I'm not going to speculate about the political future. But no I will NOT save anyone in a Maple dating site way. You're on your own, I'm a person not a ticket to a better leftist life.


About this Entry
Spiritual Sarasota
May. 29th, 2016 @ 12:01 am Hanging at the Goth Club
Yeah it's been a while but I'm back celebrating their 15th anniversary. They had some doubts if they were going to renew their situation but they're good for a couple of years.

I would come out here about 5-6 years ago with my late friend. After he passed away it was like the funeral when I came back to inform them of what happened. It's a great place & it's a testament to the openness of the place & how it is run.

I always had ambitions of hooking up here like I did back when my area had one. But now I just come to hang with my local academic friend.





About this Entry
Spiritual Sarasota
May. 20th, 2016 @ 11:27 pm Just hanging out
So I'm at a distillery. I heard a radiohead cover session of in_rainbows & I just had to take off early. They weren't they great & for some odd reason there were too many hippies & other assorted people I really don't care for.

So this place is hyped & I decided to check it out. The one guy who owns most of the buildings here is trying to make this area fallen, but other than the casino & when there are events at the arena it isn't really at night.

But anyway I just sit here & blog. It's not like I had anyone to do anything with in this country?
About this Entry
Spiritual Sarasota
May. 14th, 2016 @ 11:23 am Hanging out
At my coffee shop on a dreary day. I still have a smal glow from reupping my Canadianess. I found an odd sense of confidence & peace from it. I did it for myself & not some "wife" as I totally would never do the whole MapleMatch thing that's in the news nowadays.

I also had the self awareness to not just go to this brewery bar to hang out with this Doctorate candidate. My old habits of being an orbiter hac to stop. This whole lameness in my masculine behavior regression just had to stop.

I'm aware of my not so great value. The fact of the matter is I'm not the wild & fun bad boy guy that makes people wet. I have this quiet introversion thing going on where I know things are see through your bullshit but just smile & knod thinking you're stupid & plot to take you down.

I guess me reading said bartenders tweets & such is part of the above. The whole point is I like their beer, I like the intellectual conversation, But I know she's bad for anything else.

It took me a while to be able to learn & rationalize that with most women. Getting their attention & affection may not be winning but actually losing & catastrophic. Being alone isn't a bad thing when they're horrible & the worst thing for your mental health & mind. It's better to compartmentize the fun stuff & avoid the cancerous things like baby mama drama.

So I just hang out with people when I can be social & listen to great music. Oh and going somewhere where it's live & an event.



now playing: Slowdive
About this Entry
Spiritual Sarasota
May. 12th, 2016 @ 05:31 pm Applied for my passport
So I went today to get my Canadian passport. It's a trendy thing given the whole maple match people looking to leave the USA for Canada. It brought back a bunch of memories. The strongest being that of my application when I was married for a bit to a polish woman when she tried that same angle.

We also used to hang out at the same mall where the office is now. So it was total Deja Vu in some ways but without her. I'm glad I had that experience even though it just was a shining display of how sad I am when it comes to relationships/women.

The good part is that I'm was happy to be in my little conservative/standoffish/reserved mannerism Canadian society for a bit today. It felt great as the country kind of matched my personality.

Other that I've had a total empathic day when it comes to past crushed. One posted they she had a miscarriage on her birthday. I just ignored it as I don't want to show off anything that may be taken in anyway period. She's married & has a kid but I only have so much to go around. Heck I barely have enough energy to feel sorry for myself, I have very little for anyone else. In a weird twist I ended up driving back to Her old neighborhood the opposite way of a route we took on our one & only date.

Now they I'm having a beer at this nanobrewery I was in the presence of my other crushes fiancée & baby daddy. I totally was thrown for a loop for how he is as he wasn't what I expected. It was funny how he's here to be mr home brew enthusiast & "go home & talk to him family now." Too funny how I knew his future wife & how she got me into Buffalo city living. Too bad she was a side chick at the time for my longest lasting relationship.

Anyways I'm just drinking a beer hanging out with a tumblr type of English lit fellow & a foreign dude in he friend zone. At least I'm honestly aware of myself & where I am in the world.

Sometimes I need to get out of the ether of unreality (the past) & create a better legit for myself.
About this Entry
Spiritual Sarasota
Apr. 30th, 2016 @ 05:35 am About to leave paradise
So I'm hanging out at the Sarasota airport st 5 am something. I'm already past security & just hanging out with all the other people. It's odd how this has become a part of my life. I've spent most as much time here as say Buffalo (flying wise.)

The only odd part was I actually checked a bag. There was some nicely dressed woman in her 20's kinda confused when my gym bag was checked priority. It's odd to see high quality people check each other out. Other than that I'm just hanging out riich white Midwesternish people & it's ok.

It is always better to fly first class & for some odd reason I just got myself up to board at the quickest point that I could. But it's funny how things work out. I maybe 1st but I got a bit slighted by this hardcore status dude who got 4D instead of my due to a "change of equipment." It's ok I'm on & comfortable although this older woman is reeking of perfume & has a cat


But like I said I used to have a ton of anxiety issues but heck I'm flying with a bunch of personal space & everything else is still good. This is what I wanted to and it is a throwback to when I was a kid. The pilot is giving some wings & a model plane to some kid two rows up from Dayton. We used to have this back in the day but now I guess it's coming back? He's old school & he did try to make conversation with us but were grumpy 1st class passengers. He's now on the back cabin & it does make me happy to see things going back to how they used to be. It feels a bit easy & things are flowing here & there with a period of awkwardness. The whole "old money" thing seems to be good now that they're talking about this & that.

Anyways I'm laid back and at the same time I'm looking for my white wine mirmosa.

About this Entry
Spiritual Sarasota
Apr. 28th, 2016 @ 12:18 am Hanging out
So I got my Apple Watch today & right now I'm letting it charge. I ended up taking a pic or two with it remote controlling my phone & I got the reinforcement that I've been contemplating for a while now, I'm kinda unattractive these days.

The whole "woe is me" thing got into high gear after a conversation at a swanky bar in the area where I used to hang out as a kid from a woman my age. I just thought it through to the lint where I realized that people aren't sorry for a single male my age being alone, but my "rescources" going to waste. It comes from the same place as people saying "Marry my grand daughter" here.

I'm lucky enough to have people think that I'm someone here for some odd reason. Although I'm hanging out at this old school dive bar where the drinks are cheap & have been since the Korean War.

I'm just finding the nervous energy to write something to pound out my thoughts. This place is so awesome in the sense that the staff are friendly sweethearts. The cliental are hardcore professionals. They have free loose Pall Mall smokes with lighters. I'm just hiding out on the patio but it still is fun to people watch. Because you know I'm not getting laid. I just lash out the distractions & fustrstuons of my mind in thought via this venue.

Oh & the WiFi
About this Entry
Spiritual Sarasota
Apr. 27th, 2016 @ 01:58 am I'm always awkward
My life has been one weird odd conversation. At this point after people "feeling sorry for me" due to "me being alone" it's a long drawn out process. I had ok success with women when j was younger & even to an extent not too long ago. Subconsciously being one of "those families" that "had something happen to" it got just really tight to talk about with some one new.

I guess what triggered this tangent of mine is that im had a nice hipster woman express the sentiment to me the other night. I'd had not think about it for a long time. It is what it is & I've accepted my fate/place/circumstance.

Tonight I saw another older couple with odd adult son hanging out about. Everyone in Sarasota is sizing each other up. It just got me thinking really hard. Although it's not something that don't do regularly, haha. Yeah I think too much.

I'm not sure what to expect for the rest of my life. I've been talking to someone long & hard about it. When the time comes I'm not sure what's going to happen or how I'm going handle it.

My folks were freaking out when i decided to head out a beer to the local tourist trap. But I just heard some bro say "my sister had a strap on & I don't know." I just remember the time I went out in Brooklyn & some guy was editing. You can get some writing done in bars. That's what I'm doing now & I'm good. Even though it's Copper Head road by Steve Earl. But the happy bartender took over the jukebox with country. But whatever I hammered out this post.
About this Entry
Spiritual Sarasota