So I went today to get my Canadian passport. It's a trendy thing given the whole maple match people looking to leave the USA for Canada. It brought back a bunch of memories. The strongest being that of my application when I was married for a bit to a polish woman when she tried that same angle.
We also used to hang out at the same mall where the office is now. So it was total Deja Vu in some ways but without her. I'm glad I had that experience even though it just was a shining display of how sad I am when it comes to relationships/women.
The good part is that I'm was happy to be in my little conservative/standoffish/reserved mannerism Canadian society for a bit today. It felt great as the country kind of matched my personality.
Other that I've had a total empathic day when it comes to past crushed. One posted they she had a miscarriage on her birthday. I just ignored it as I don't want to show off anything that may be taken in anyway period. She's married & has a kid but I only have so much to go around. Heck I barely have enough energy to feel sorry for myself, I have very little for anyone else. In a weird twist I ended up driving back to Her old neighborhood the opposite way of a route we took on our one & only date.
Now they I'm having a beer at this nanobrewery I was in the presence of my other crushes fiancée & baby daddy. I totally was thrown for a loop for how he is as he wasn't what I expected. It was funny how he's here to be mr home brew enthusiast & "go home & talk to him family now." Too funny how I knew his future wife & how she got me into Buffalo city living. Too bad she was a side chick at the time for my longest lasting relationship.
Anyways I'm just drinking a beer hanging out with a tumblr type of English lit fellow & a foreign dude in he friend zone. At least I'm honestly aware of myself & where I am in the world.
Sometimes I need to get out of the ether of unreality (the past) & create a better legit for myself.