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Feb. 1st, 2018 @ 02:59 pm Cafe Arbidelmwood

So there is this place in the heart of the elite liberal hipster white part of Buffalo.

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Spiritual Sarasota
Jan. 28th, 2018 @ 12:34 pm Over for a Sunday Drive

So I went over to Niagara-on-the-Lake to go for a Sunday drive. I’m drinking a beer at a brewery & just soaking up the good weather. I just needed to get over & chill in Canada. It’s funny how I can just embed myself over here culturally & not miss out too much.

It’s prettying just something I find comforting in an odd ritualistic way. If it wasn’t for being so close to Canada I’m not sure I’d live where I live to be honest. I’m just going to go grocery shopping soon & after that I’m not sure.

This is what you do when you’re a lost sexually male who has no real mechanism to be with someone. At least for me I’ve realized the futility of it all outweighs any of the benefits in my case.

So I just sit & drink a beverage.

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Spiritual Sarasota
Jan. 21st, 2018 @ 01:34 pm Not on a date here
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I’m just sitting here at my local coffee shop. I must be the only my person here not on a date in the front room.

To be honest I’m still happy hanging out still glowing from the night out across in Canada. They had an ice wine festival & it was actually stimulating to hear a conversation about people planning on being the conversation candidates in the upcoming provincial election in Ontario. It’s refreshing to hear people talk politics without being extremely polarized.

Anyway the couple next to me is on a post church date. I’m not sure on how to read them. She seems like a basic birch & he seems like a nice guy who got good grades along the mold of Ned Flanders.

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Spiritual Sarasota
Jan. 20th, 2018 @ 09:40 pm Beer after work

So I’m back to my old ways.

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Spiritual Sarasota
Jan. 14th, 2018 @ 09:11 pm Crafty run in with an old friend

So I went to my local craft beer bottle shop because well I didn’t have anything else to do. The next thing you know right after I walked in I see my estranged friend & his wife sitting at the end of the picnic table seating area. She comes up to pay their tab quickly & they promptly leave.

Now I guess he got sick of me being a needy friend by calling his often but whatever at this point. I didn’t feel any anxiety or anything else. There is another ex Facebook formed here that unfriended me over politics. Our interaction at this point is just to ignore each other.

The place is hopping but it’s just a sausage fest. Not that it matters as I’m just typing this by the window but I just wished that I was able to use my “long weekend” to a better use & have some more fun.

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Spiritual Sarasota
Jan. 6th, 2018 @ 03:11 pm Siesta Key

So I spend 3 weeks down on the now famous island in Florida due to the reality show on MTV.

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Spiritual Sarasota
Dec. 31st, 2017 @ 12:02 am So my family peace has been disrupted

I ended up getting dragged into seeing some jazz singer I The redneck town a 25 miles south of here.

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Spiritual Sarasota
Dec. 14th, 2017 @ 12:41 pm Flying down to the SRQ 1st

So I’m finally on my way back to Sarasota after a nine month hiatus.

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Spiritual Sarasota
Dec. 11th, 2017 @ 11:08 am Going to see the national this afternoon
I can't wait to see The National this afternoon & specifically to hear "Day I Die" Especially for these lyrics:

I don't need you, I don't need you
Besides I barely ever see you anymore
And when I do it feels like you're only halfway there
Young mothers love me even ghosts of
Girlfriends call from Cleveland
They will meet me anytime and anywhere

A few years ago I was in a pretty shitty place mentally. The sad part is that it's pretty much my fault due to the fact that for a couple of reasons 1. I took the "character" that emerged on social media too literally 2 I got pulled into other people's sphere too easily.

The second reason is why i cannot be involved or in a relationship with a woman. For good measure it's also good for me not to be friends with someone of the opposite gender. It just happens that when I was friends with this young mother from that part of Ohio, I did get my mind F'd with & the worst parts of any possible relationship (or lack therof)

The scatterbrained self then doubled down on the IG & Twiter "Character" which caused me to spiral in making stupid decisions. It has taken me 3 years to climb back to where I was financially.

I guess there is another part here and that's another set of lyrics off of the new album:

It's nobody's fault
No guilty party
We just got nothing
Nothing left to say

I'm the way I am, It's tough to know that you have to stay away from the vast majority of people because you're defective. It's just something I have to do & be a proactive in my avoidance. At the end of the day we do what comes naturally, it is what it is. There is no reason to be mad just reference the paragraph above's lyrics.
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Spiritual Sarasota
Dec. 4th, 2017 @ 04:23 pm Here’s the thing

I don’t care about love, relationships &/or sex anymore.

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Spiritual Sarasota